I'm About to OD..seriously

Have you ever thought about someone after the two of you parted ways? I can't believe I'm about to do this, but here it goes. Well, I did I few times but tonight really took the cake. Me and Dom were watching videos we made on the laptop. If you've ever hung out with us you know how we are and the things we talk about. While watching them, we were having a small "damn I remember that" session. In my mind a lot of wheels started to turn. After watching them I took a 20sec timeout. Lol. I noticed that in every video, wait lets say 85% of the videos I mentioned this one person. He shall remain nameless, but if you're really a part of my life u know who he is. I thought to my self like "Damn, this nicca really had an effect on me back then". I'm not gonna lie, he did. That was the only guy I ever got outta my bed for at 4/5am. Never have I ever son. But in return I felt like he wasn't fukkin with Tha Kid like that; he further confirmed when he told me his lifestyle doesn't allow him to have a significant other. In my mind I went HARDBODY for dude, but I guess it held no weight. So I chilled. And when I chilled we fell off, but he fell on to a chick that look sleepy all the time(Brontosaurus..LOL), but that's a whole other story. So I decided to FB him and told him to call me. Crazy right? Yea I did it. He called (surprisingly) and we rapped for a minute, then he got into this thing of I didn't want him for real. If he only knew; and I've been saying this forever. He is so dumb, if he only knew half of it. And yes I called him dumb, just stating facts. I don't think he saw my potential. It was like everyone on the outside saw what he didn't see. Have you ever wanted someone that didn't want you? Not to sound vain or cocky but if you look at me and get to know me, how can you not? I met guys everyday that would give me the world but I didn't want them. It was like the guy I wanted didn't want me. Even after its all said and done I still think about him. When I see him, call me Reynolds cuz its a wrap. And when I have flashbacks of certain times *scratches neck* that shit give me the chills. I'm the girl that gets whatever she wants,when and how I want it even if its a challenge. Clearly I lost that one. I can't say he's in the dark, b/c if he's reading this then he knows. I just had to let that go. *exhales*